The Mummy 3- Oh Crap, here we go again.
by HaloBlack
Summary: What happens when an extreamly drunk Jonothan releases Imhotep?
1.

The Mummy 3  
Author: *Gutter~Glitter*  
E-mail: GutterGlitter@sluggy.net  
Homepage: http://gutterglitterz.homestead.com/Hello.html  
  
Part one  
Jonothan is drunk, very drunk. Infact he's so drunk that he doesn't notice he's staggered all the way to Hamunaptra. He does however notice that the book **insert dramatic sound affect/music here** has coveniatly moved itself back to the alter and is open, but, being pissed out of his tiny mind he mistacks it for a newspaper **The Weekly Nile, an is that Anuck-Su-Namun on page 3?** and starts to read the hyrogliphics.  
  
Jonothan: um.....damn egyptian writing.....birdy squiggle, man nealing, foot doggy bird sqiggle.......  
  
Over by the remains of Beni, to mildly evil, extreamly hungry, nice and shiney **oooooh! shiney!** flesh eating scarabs watch with mild amusement.  
  
Scarab 1: Who's e' then?  
Scarab 2: Dunno, he's in for a shock though......  
Scarab 1: Sure is, your Great Aunty Em's about to run up his trouser leg......  
Scarab 2: *Hits scarab 1 with one of his many legs* Not that you idiot, look behind im'  
Scarab 1: oooooh look, its da boss! Coooeeeeeeeee! Imhotep! Over heeeeeeerrrrrrrrre!  
Scarab 2: Will you stop that? Its embarresing, I don't know why I take you out in public.  
Jonothan: Squiggle bug hand man nealing bug..........  
  
Imhotep looks at Jonothan. Jonothan compleatly fails to notice the slightly grumpy dead guy behind him. Imhotep starts yelling in egyptian and dancing around pulling faces  
  
Imhotep: Dag? Verskoon my? Terug uit dood hierheen! Dagggggggg?! *Translation: Hello? Excuse me? Back from dead here? Helloooooo?!*   
  
  
**Part2 comeing soon**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Part 2; in which the shit hits the fan a...

The Mummy 3  
Author: *Gutter~Glitter*  
E-mail: GutterGlitter@sluggy.net  
Homepage: http://saiyanmb.homestead.com/Home.html  
Note from author: hopefully you'll like this one as much as the last.  
  
Part 2.  
Jonothan is still extreamly drunk. And Imhotep, on realising he's not getting any attension has slunk out of Hamunaptra in search of a strip club.  
  
Imhotep: Dom seun ya op kameel! *Translation: Stupid son of a camel!*   
Jonothan: Stork fish birdy squiggle duck thing....  
Scarab 1: hmmm.....don't think the boss'll be goin far.  
Scarab 2: **Jumping up and down, waving little buggy hands at Imhotep** DON'T OPEN THE DOOR! HERO WANNABE AT TWELVE 'O' CLOCK!!!  
Imhotep: **looks at watch** Egter sy alleen kailie verlede vyf.... *Translation: But its only half past five....*  
Scarab's 1 & 2: Oh for the love of Isis  
Imhotep: Wat?  
  
Suddenly O' Connell bursts through the door, followed by Evelyn and 10 scarab munchis on legs  
  
O' Connell: No! *Looks at Imhotep* Its you! It can't be!  
Imhotep: Agterent kop! *Translation: Butt head!*  
O'Connell: Whats that you say? Your going to take over the world?! Dispicable monster! I'll defeat you after rescuing Jonothan, battleing hords of undead yucky things and getting myself slightly maimed by Scarabs!  
Scarab 1: Thats our cue!  
Scarab 2: Up and at em' lads!  
Mildly evil Scarab army: Yay!  
  
Imhotep's mildly evil scarab army race towards O' Connell and his troops. O' Connell (like the brainless moron he is) just stands there shooting scarabs till he runs out of ammo. Evelyn watches in descust as the scarabs start munching on his legs  
  
O' Connell: ARGH! EVELYN! I......HAVE....FAILED.......YOU........PROMISE.....ME YOU'LL.....NEVER.....LOVE.....................ANOTHER MA~*ack shit, am I dead?  
Evelyn: EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!  
  
Alas, poor Evelyn can only flee Humunaptra as she is chased by a drooling, undead guy in a loin-cloth thingie. Will scarab 1 ever get his own fanfic? Will scarab 2 ever get Imhotep's autograph. Will Jonothan ever get to the end of the book? Will Imhotep ever catch Evelyn, get marryed and have little bald baby Imhotep's? Find out in the next exciting instalment of........  
Imhotep: Terugkom Ehvaylyn I gaan nee byt!!! *Translation: Come back Evelyn, I won't bite!!!*  
Oh yuk.....you sure you wanna read the next chapter? 


	3. Interlude; the scarab's are boared, Imho...

The Mummy 3: Interlude  
Author: *Gutter~Glitter*  
E-mail: GutterGlitter@sluggy.net  
Homepage: http://saiyanmb.homestead.com/Home.html  
Note from author: Fame at last for scarab's 1 and 2  
  
The curtains are pulled for the interlude and the cast all breath a sigh of relief, everyone except for Evelyn. Evelyn's just discovered Imhotep's love for her isn't part of the script.  
  
Evelyn: *can be seen running past in the backround* HELP!  
Imhotep: *chaseing Evelyn with a big cheesy grin on his cute lil' mug.* Terugkom Ehvaylyn....... TERUGKOM!!!!!! **Translation: Come back Evelyn.......COME BACK!!!!!!**  
Jonothan: Little man squiggle bug.......  
Scarab 1: Well, nobodys watching us....Hey! I've got an idea, follow me...  
  
Everybodys so busy trying to rescue Evelyn from the lustfull intentions of Imhotep that they don't notice the mildly evil scarab army (lead by scarabs 1 and 2) scuttle onto the stage, meanwhile, in the audience  
  
Devil Phill: Wasssup Leanne? Film to scary for you?  
Leanne (aka the mildly omnipotent authoress of this fic): hum?  
Devil Phill: I said....  
Wiggy: Shut up Phill, she's writing.  
Div: ...........!  
Leanne (aka.....aww whatever): Yup, sure am Phill *sniggers*  
Devil Phill: Whats that noise......  
Div: .......?  
  
The mildly evil scarab army, lead by scarabs 1 and 2, desend from on high, dangling from little parachutes. Devil Phill is devouered in minutes, Div and Wiggy get something to laugh at and the authoress gets to relax and put her feet up for the rest of the fic.  
  
Can't wait for part 3?  
Div:  



End file.
